May be, most of them, like me go through the painful process of arranged marriage. Only some may be the handsome or the rich ones may have this process seamlessly easy. But for me, to say has been one of the most difficult process to which I had put myself in.
The current generation of girls, have been more demanding of nature. I don’t say, they should not have the demanding power. I am neither a male animal ( for those man bashing ladies) who would see, the women folk should not have freedom. But my experience in this regard has been dismally painful and unexplainable. These girls ( or their parents) would look some of these things… handsome, fair , money, onsite visits, is he a PM, PL etc… how much money he had made and how much will he make… I wont say that is bad, but what I want them to understand is that they should look for a man who would keep their girl happy irrespective of whether he is rich or poor, but he should be a good man.
But if a man sees whether his girl is fair, educated, friendly n cultured. Most of the times, he would get a –ve answer for his search. To my friends, who know me, or atleast for strangers, I am no handsome man nor an ugly one. My expectations were, are my girl should have a fairer complexion than me ( not asking for snow white) , educated ( not asking for a BE girl only) , and friendly and cultured one. But am not sure why I get girls whom I would not find none of the above things together…. Are these expectations too much to expect?
Since many years, whenever I used to hear , that parents don’t want to have girl child, I always used to wonder if there going to me many guys and few girls. My questions to that has been answered. That the situation would be like this. In simple economic definition, demand is more and supply is less. Taking cue of this, the girls have been putting their exaggarting requests. But things might take the other turns too. It might lead to men taking alternate route too. Nothing wrong in that. But just a guess that , that might still happen, we are seeing many such instances in newspapers.
Coming to my case, during the 3rd quarter of 2008-09 FY, I had returned to India to look for my bride and get married. I think that first girl I looked was Ms.C. And I had liked her too. But the problems at her place had stopped us from proceeding further. It was my first visit to a place to look for girl, the girl’s side too were pleasant, we all liked the ambience, girl etc. May be the girl had also liked me (I guess). She was smiling and talking to everyone. I had almost decided that my marriage thing is done and at least I am now settled to start a new life. But you know that saying “there are many a slips between cup and the lip”.
There were many instances where my ego was hurt…There was this instance, upon insistence of one of my uncle; I had been to a girl’s place. This girl was a fair, but not at all watch able in terms of the pleasantness. She probably did not like me. As I could see what was going on in their kitchen from where I was sitting. I was seeing that the girl was saying that she would not go out, and her mom insisting that she go out at least for courtesy.
There was another instance where we went to my father’s colleague’s place. Girl was so ugly that u would vomit. But the way she was behaving was so disgusting. The girl’s father was a colleague of my father. Hence we were like, lets be good visitors and go away once the tradition of seeing the girl is over. The girl came out once for offerring water, may be she did not like me. After that only her mom came out. I had thought, may be the girl is shy and she does not want to come out. But my thoughts were proved false when she came out without any hitch to talk to a labour. Then I had thought, why did they invite us if they had not liked my photo, to humiliate us.
There are instances , where the girls were not at all good looking. I don’t know why I only got such profiles. I am not saying that I went in for a rejection spree.. but it is my marriage, don’t I have a decent process to look for. I have seen some of my friends, who are not at all capable in life, getting good wives. Am I worse than them. I am not comparing, but yes that thought comes to me with all pain. Am I not worth for getting a good wife.
I am under so much pain on how to explain my pain to my parents, which they might be understanding. But they are helpless because of these girl’s parents tantrums.
To remaind u all on another instance, where a girl’s father had asked me to visit India in june. I had said that it wont be possible as project is in important stage. Though everyone at my home as well as his home had liked, that girl’s father was not ready to wait..he wanted his words to be on… and he went on to get that girl married off to some one in june only.
I don’t know, why I am going through all these. Or is it the same everyman would go through or am I thinking too much…
During all these , I had to hear so many worse dialogs which I hope none would hear in their lives during which they will be searching for their bride…
Samples
ಇನ್ನೆನ್ತಾ ಹೆಣ್ನು ಬೇಕನ್ತೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಮಗನಿಗೆ
ಸುರ ಸುನ್ದರಾನ್ಗಿ ಬೇಕೇನೋ ನಿನ್ನ ಮಗನಿಗೆ
ಇವನಿರೊ ಚೆನ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಇನ್ನೆನ್ತಾ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಸಿಗುತ್ತೆ
Am now stronger in handling such dialogues than before and much more mature in face rejections.
Every one in my friend circle knows , how much I had a dream of having a wife who is fairer at least than my skin color. Expecting a decent wife, is it a crime…. All my friends used to pull my leg saying ಮಗನೆ ನಿನ್ಗೆ ಕರೇ ಹೇನ್ದತಿನೇ ಸಿಗೊಧು
I think that is what is going to happen. In that case, I am serious on not marrying anyone and would ask my parents to look for my brother’s marriage.
I don’t know if that is right or wrong. But I feel compromising on this thing would be detrimental for a good life.
As they say ಹೊನ್ನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಮಣ್ಣೂ ಇವೆಲ್ಲಾ ದೇವರು ಬರೆದು ಇಟ್ಟೊರಿಗೇ ಸಿಗೊಧು
The current generation of girls, have been more demanding of nature. I don’t say, they should not have the demanding power. I am neither a male animal ( for those man bashing ladies) who would see, the women folk should not have freedom. But my experience in this regard has been dismally painful and unexplainable. These girls ( or their parents) would look some of these things… handsome, fair , money, onsite visits, is he a PM, PL etc… how much money he had made and how much will he make… I wont say that is bad, but what I want them to understand is that they should look for a man who would keep their girl happy irrespective of whether he is rich or poor, but he should be a good man.
But if a man sees whether his girl is fair, educated, friendly n cultured. Most of the times, he would get a –ve answer for his search. To my friends, who know me, or atleast for strangers, I am no handsome man nor an ugly one. My expectations were, are my girl should have a fairer complexion than me ( not asking for snow white) , educated ( not asking for a BE girl only) , and friendly and cultured one. But am not sure why I get girls whom I would not find none of the above things together…. Are these expectations too much to expect?
Since many years, whenever I used to hear , that parents don’t want to have girl child, I always used to wonder if there going to me many guys and few girls. My questions to that has been answered. That the situation would be like this. In simple economic definition, demand is more and supply is less. Taking cue of this, the girls have been putting their exaggarting requests. But things might take the other turns too. It might lead to men taking alternate route too. Nothing wrong in that. But just a guess that , that might still happen, we are seeing many such instances in newspapers.
Coming to my case, during the 3rd quarter of 2008-09 FY, I had returned to India to look for my bride and get married. I think that first girl I looked was Ms.C. And I had liked her too. But the problems at her place had stopped us from proceeding further. It was my first visit to a place to look for girl, the girl’s side too were pleasant, we all liked the ambience, girl etc. May be the girl had also liked me (I guess). She was smiling and talking to everyone. I had almost decided that my marriage thing is done and at least I am now settled to start a new life. But you know that saying “there are many a slips between cup and the lip”.
There were many instances where my ego was hurt…There was this instance, upon insistence of one of my uncle; I had been to a girl’s place. This girl was a fair, but not at all watch able in terms of the pleasantness. She probably did not like me. As I could see what was going on in their kitchen from where I was sitting. I was seeing that the girl was saying that she would not go out, and her mom insisting that she go out at least for courtesy.
There was another instance where we went to my father’s colleague’s place. Girl was so ugly that u would vomit. But the way she was behaving was so disgusting. The girl’s father was a colleague of my father. Hence we were like, lets be good visitors and go away once the tradition of seeing the girl is over. The girl came out once for offerring water, may be she did not like me. After that only her mom came out. I had thought, may be the girl is shy and she does not want to come out. But my thoughts were proved false when she came out without any hitch to talk to a labour. Then I had thought, why did they invite us if they had not liked my photo, to humiliate us.
There are instances , where the girls were not at all good looking. I don’t know why I only got such profiles. I am not saying that I went in for a rejection spree.. but it is my marriage, don’t I have a decent process to look for. I have seen some of my friends, who are not at all capable in life, getting good wives. Am I worse than them. I am not comparing, but yes that thought comes to me with all pain. Am I not worth for getting a good wife.
I am under so much pain on how to explain my pain to my parents, which they might be understanding. But they are helpless because of these girl’s parents tantrums.
To remaind u all on another instance, where a girl’s father had asked me to visit India in june. I had said that it wont be possible as project is in important stage. Though everyone at my home as well as his home had liked, that girl’s father was not ready to wait..he wanted his words to be on… and he went on to get that girl married off to some one in june only.
I don’t know, why I am going through all these. Or is it the same everyman would go through or am I thinking too much…
During all these , I had to hear so many worse dialogs which I hope none would hear in their lives during which they will be searching for their bride…
Samples
ಇನ್ನೆನ್ತಾ ಹೆಣ್ನು ಬೇಕನ್ತೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಮಗನಿಗೆ
ಸುರ ಸುನ್ದರಾನ್ಗಿ ಬೇಕೇನೋ ನಿನ್ನ ಮಗನಿಗೆ
ಇವನಿರೊ ಚೆನ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಇನ್ನೆನ್ತಾ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಸಿಗುತ್ತೆ
Am now stronger in handling such dialogues than before and much more mature in face rejections.
Every one in my friend circle knows , how much I had a dream of having a wife who is fairer at least than my skin color. Expecting a decent wife, is it a crime…. All my friends used to pull my leg saying ಮಗನೆ ನಿನ್ಗೆ ಕರೇ ಹೇನ್ದತಿನೇ ಸಿಗೊಧು
I think that is what is going to happen. In that case, I am serious on not marrying anyone and would ask my parents to look for my brother’s marriage.
I don’t know if that is right or wrong. But I feel compromising on this thing would be detrimental for a good life.
As they say ಹೊನ್ನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಮಣ್ಣೂ ಇವೆಲ್ಲಾ ದೇವರು ಬರೆದು ಇಟ್ಟೊರಿಗೇ ಸಿಗೊಧು
